The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
