May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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