Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You pole danced in your parka.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize