the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
even my farts smell like vagina
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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