the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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