Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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