i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
