He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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