I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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