Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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