how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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