you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
