Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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