She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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