Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I want to fling myself into the sun
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
