Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
