do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
