i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im part way to drunk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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