She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
