I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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