I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
