the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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