I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
