mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
