wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
