naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
