I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
