they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
