her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
