Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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