are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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