I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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