Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
