but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
