I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
