You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My ass is underappreciated
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
