We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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