Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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