their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
