My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
