U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
