Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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