fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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