He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
