My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
