You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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