"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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