Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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