My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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