Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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