I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
