You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize