what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
