i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
