is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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