I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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