Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
