Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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